


I Would Even Paint My Toenails For You

by KillerLaurel



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Cop AU, F/M, M/M, Violence, gang fued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerLaurel/pseuds/KillerLaurel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is an out-of-place ex-gang member from the gang, the Asgardians. He spends years on the streets before meeting the homicide cop, Tony Stark, and his partner Steve Rogers. Darcy works in Narco. Clint and Natasha are SWAT members. Bruce is in forensics, and Fury is their over-worked boss. Coulson is FBI.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

When Loki was seventeen, he almost died. It had come out that Loki was a cast off from the gang, the Jotuns, and that Odin had taken him in without telling Loki of his origins (bastard had probably wanted to use him against the Asgardians’ rival gang leader, Laufey). His gang, the Asgardians, turned on him and beat him within an inch of his life before his brother (foster, foster, he isn’t really your brother, he never was!!) broke it up. His father (the bastard wasn’t really his father! he was a liar! liar, liar, liar!!) had visited him in the hospital.  
“I can do it, father,” Loki whispered, trying not to let the seed of hope grow in his chest.  
“No, Loki,” Odin shook his head and left. The little seed of hope and compassion that had lingered died. Loki’s face hardened.  
In his neighborhood, those who weren’t ganged up didn’t survive long, but he’d be damned if he was going to join a gang after being betrayed by the people he thought of as family for all his life. In the gangs, family was everything. Loki apparently didn’t cut it.  
The more he dwelled on it, the more his resolve hardened. If he left things the way they were, he was dead man. But if he played the rival gangs off each other... he could survive. Loki knew the streets better than anyone in the city; he knew ways to get through any territory regardless of the gang that had claimed it without getting caught.  
He could do it; he could survive.


	2. Chapter 2

“Whoa! Watch it, brat!” Tony grabbed the kid by the back of his collar. “Anyone lose a brat?” he asked the room of detectives.  
“I’m not a brat!” the kid shouted. “Let me go, dick-face!”  
“Shut up,” Tony said, effortlessly keeping his hold on the kicking and squirming child.  
“Hey, hey, sorry Stark,” a wheezing man made his way through the floor of cops. “The brat got away from me.”  
“Oh god, Bobby,” Steve sighed from his desk.  
“You can’t keep losing the pickpockets on the case floor, man,” Tony said, letting the kid go as if he’d spontaneously caught fire.  
“My name’s not Bobby,” the man said, catching the kid before he could escape again.  
“Sure thing, Bill,” Tony waved. The man rolled his eyes and left, dragging the kid along with him.  
“Get your asses back to work!” Chief Fury snapped from his office doorway.  
Grinning, Tony saluted cheekily. “Sir, yes, sir!”  
“Stark, Rogers, get your asses in here,” Fury glowered at them with his one good eye. Steve got up and followed Tony into the office. “We got a potential gang related homicide in the Jotuns’ territory; I want you two to check it out.”  
“Why isn’t OC taking care of it?” Tony asked, referring to the pretentious and damnably useless division. The number of arrests Organized Crime made was pathetic.  
“Because they don’t want it. They’re dealing with a fed right now and you two are the best detectives we’ve got. I don’t care if you get shot in the ass again Stark, solve this one before the fed decides to poke around our department.”  
“Sure thing, boss,” Steve said obediently.  
“Just to be clear,” Tony said slowing as Steve got up to leave. “Am I allowed to shoot anybody who acts like a jackass?”  
“No, and don’t think I’ve forgotten the incident when you threatened a SENATOR.”  
“He confessed, didn’t he?”  
“His confession couldn’t be used in court. It was coerced,” Steve said disapprovingly.  
“We found evidence,” Tony protested, also getting up.  
“And if we hadn’t, he would have gotten away with triple homicide,” Steve pointed out as they were leaving.  
“Do you have to talk like that?”  
“Like what?”  
“Seriously? You can’t just say ‘murder’ or ‘homi’? Do you eat dictionaries for breakfast or something?”


	3. Chapter 3

“Don’t. Fucking. Move.” Tony pressed the barrel of his gun against the back of the dark-haired man’s head. “Take your hand away from the knife, bastard.” The dark-hair man did so, slowly. “Turn around, slowly, with your hands up.”  
“Hey, Tony, I think I just found the murder weapon-,” Steve stopped dead. “What are you doing?!”  
“This dick was just going for a knife,” Tony explained as the man turned to face him. Truthfully, it was a bit awkward since the man was about three inches taller than him, but still, he was the one with a gun. Tony’s first though when he saw the man’s face was, ‘damn, I hope Darcy isn’t around when I bring this guy in. She’ll eat him alive.’ His second thought was, ‘Shit, not HIM.’ And then the guy fucking SMILED.  
“Tony?” Steve asked cautiously.  
“Fuck. Against the wall, buddy.” Tony shoved the pale faced man against the brick wall of the building on one side of the alley they were in. The body had been found at the opening and Tony had been searching for a murder weapon when he’d noticed the sneaky guy.  
“What are you doing?!” Steve asked again, frustrated as Tony roughly slapped cuffs on the man and patted him down.  
“Look at him!” Tony forced the (still grinning) man to look straight at Steve, and understanding dawned on his partner’s face.  
“Oh.”  
“Ya think? Genius? Where were you trained anyway?”  
“He looks exactly like Laufey.”  
“Bingo!” Tony snarked. “And give the man a prize. Looks like we found the last remaining part of the family.”  
“Last?” the Laufey look-a-like asked curiously, his voice void of any other emotion.  
“Yeah, Laufey was killed last week,” Steve said.  
“Don’t talk to the prisoner, Steve,” Tony sighed. The guy giggled. “What’s your name, man?”  
“Loki.”  
“Laufey’s son?” Tony asked, and Loki shrugged as if he couldn’t care less. “You’re supposed to be dead.” Loki’s face hardened.  
“Is that what Odin told the cops then? You bought that?” Loki asked harshly.  
“Whoa, okay, daddy issues, got it,” Tony whistled, shoving Loki into the back of his car.  
“How the fuck would you know about Odin being my-?” Loki choked on the end of his question.  
“Your daddy?” Tony asked with a smirk. “Kid, I’ve had a source in the Asgardians for ten years.”  
“Really?” Steve asked, getting in the passenger seat (because NO ONE drove Tony’s car except Tony).  
“Yeah, Captain America,” Tony rolled his eyes. “I don’t tell you everything, you know.” Tony must’ve been really on edge because he only called Steve “Captain America” when he thought his partner was being too much of a Boy Scout.  
“Are you guys going to keep fighting?” Loki asked from behind the safety grate. “Because if you are, I’d love to be let go-”  
“No, you’re going to sit your ass in a cell until the Chief says I can book you for more than carrying a concealed firearm.”  
“I wasn’t!” Loki protested.  
“You said he had a knife!” Steve protested.  
“Here,” Tony tossed a sheathed knife a good seven inches long, a small snub-nosed revolver, and a set of professional lock picks into Steve’s lap. “Oh, I almost forgot,” Tony added a Glock identical to his own. “Creep got a cop’s gun somewhere.” Tony tossed over spare clips for the Glock.  
“How the fuck did you lift all that without me noticing?” Loki asked, unpleasantly stunned.  
“You’re not the only kid who grew up on the streets,” Steve said, grabbing an evidence bag and shoving the weapons into it.  
“You found the murder weapon?” Tony asked, ignoring Loki and stepping on the gas.  
“Yeah. Got it bagged and tagged. The body is on it’s way to Maria, and all the evidence is headed for Bruce. Good enough?”  
“Pictures?”  
“Crime scene and watchers. Why anyone would want to watch the cops clean up a body is beyond me,” Steve made a face.  
“Ghouls,” Loki chimed in. “Or psychopaths. Or just nervous people who live in the neighborhood.”  
When Steve looked questioningly at Tony, the smart-ass rolled his eyes, “In a bad neighborhood, if you know what’s going on, and you don’t talk to cops, you stand a better chance of surviving.”  
“So you aren’t stupid,” Loki mused at Tony. “What was it? Your mother? Father?” Tony’s face shut down. “Father then. Was he a drunk? Petty thief? When he died,” Loki’s voice lowered to a whisper, “did you cry? I didn’t.”  
“Oh my god!” Tony drawled loudly. “Does the creep EVER shut up?”  
“Only when I want to,” Loki smirked, leaning back in his seat. “You know it’s illegal for me to not be wearing a seatbelt, right?”  
“Well, let’s put it this way,” Tony said. “If we crash, you can die with your face looking like a waffle.”  
“I hate waffles,” Loki muttered rebelliously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it is in any way unclear: yes, Tony did grow up poor. Howard was a drunk who didn't manage to make anything of himself in this AU so Tony grew up in a bad neighborhood, on the streets most of the time.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hot damn,” Darcy exclaimed loudly and shamelessly. “I would fuck that.” Loki’s smirk was almost unbearable.  
“Seriously, Darce? You’re Narco; what are you doing here AGAIN?”  
“Why ask, Tony? You know I visit lockup because the rookies are so adorable. I mean look at him,” she pointed at a young probie and winked. The guy tripped over his own feet. “Clint was asking after you again. You sure you don’t want to fuck him?”  
“Darcy?” Steve asked meekly. He was no match for the terrifying brunette.  
“Ooo, Stevie!!” She hugged him. “Has Mean Tony been mean to you?”  
“Everyday,” Steve grinned, hugging Darcy back. Loki rolled his eyes.  
“Are you going to put me in a cell or do I have to attack someone?” he asked.  
“Eager, isn’t he?” Darcy asked, grinning. “Later, boys!” She strutted off, making a big show of swinging her hips.  
“Cute,” Loki commented.  
“Try trafficking drugs sometime and you’ll see how cute she is,” Tony said, pushing Loki into an empty cell. “You’d rather be in a volcano.”  
“Aren’t you going to uncuff me?” Loki asked as Tony locked the cell and began walking away.  
“Oops,” he shrugged and kept walking.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta ask for forgiveness ahead of time, because this is probably really shitty and I should just stick to innuendo, but here it is: explicit-ish porn-y stuff. Again, this was my first time writing porn so try not to hate me.

“You’re a jerk,” Clint complained as Tony walked in the door.  
“You’re lucky Darcy hasn’t figured us out yet,” Tony said, the breath going out of him as Clint pinned him to the inside of their apartment door. “I’d never hear the end of it,” Tony breathed into Clint’s mouth as the sniper kissed him. Clint’s tongue twined around Tony’s as their lips clashed.  
“Natasha already knows,” Clint said when they came up for air.  
“Natasha knows everything. Can we stop talking about your ex?” Tony asked, nibbling on Clint’s earlobe while sliding his hand into his partner’s jeans, which he’d managed to unbutton without removing his hand from the nape of Clint’s neck.  
“Sure,” Clint’s response was breathy. “Just keep-” groan, “doing that.”  
“I’ll do better,” Tony laughed. Clint pressed a hard, sucking kiss to Tony’s collar bone, shucking off his jeans as Tony yanked at the buttons on his shirt. “Bed, now.” Tony’s tone went down dramatically, a growled command.  
When they get there, in record time, Tony shoved Clint down onto the bed, following him down with hot, biting kisses. Clint didn’t give ground though, wrapping his legs tightly around Tony’s waist, trapping the detective between his thighs as they ground into each other in hard, oscillating motions. Before long, Clint shimmied down so Tony’s thighs were resting on his shoulders, and he took Tony’s length down in one smooth movement.  
“Fuuuuuck,” Tony moaned, bucking into Clint’s mouth. Clint had no gag reflex; he chuckled while swirling his tongue around the head of Tony’s cock. “Condom.” Grinning, Clint flicked his tongue across the head of Tony’s cock and pulled away.  
Clint grunted as he tossed Tony onto his back and reached for the side drawer that held the condoms and lube. “Snipers like heights, Tony,” he said when the detective squirmed between his legs.  
“The whole department calls you Hawkeye, you know,” Tony said, sinking his teeth into the softer skin on the inside of Clint’s thigh.  
“Everyone in SWAT calls you the crazy, suicidal genius, you know,” Clint laughed as he rolled the condom on Tony. Tony replied with a smirk, slicking his fingers generously with lube and warming it up before inserting a finger into Clint’s ass. Clint threw his head back, the muscles in his chest and back visibly clenching up, sucking in a quick breath and twisting his hands into the sheets on either side of him.  
Tony scissored his fingers for a moment before inserting a third. He smirked as Clint ground himself down onto Tony’s fingers, groaning out, “If you don’t fuck me RIGHT NOW, I’m going to handcuff you to the bed and throw away the keys.”  
“You did that last week,” Tony replied, but he removed his fingers, and Clint sank onto Tony’s length with one well-practiced movement. “Fuck. Me. Sideways!” Tony exclaimed as Clint began moving slowly.  
“Next week,” Clint promised. Tony took advantage of his momentary distractedness and rolled them over so he was on top again.  
“You want it fast tonight?” he whispered in Clint’s ear, pulling back a little before burying himself to the hilt in Clint again, effectively preventing the sniper from answering. “Or slow?” he stopped moving, eliciting a wordless noise of protest from the man under him. Tony gripped Clint’s cock, stroking with a feather light touch, making Clint shudder and scrabble at the sheets while trying to thrust Tony deeper.  
“Fast, you bastard,” Clint hissed furiously. “Fast and hard or I’ll let Natasha kill you.” Tony froze momentarily before grinning at Clint: mentioning Natasha was sure way of getting angry, hard sex. If that was what Clint wanted, who was Tony to deny him?  
“Someday,” Tony grunted as he stroked and out of Clint roughly, “I won’t be satisfied with just coming home for this,” Tony said breathlessly, rubbing Clint’s cock with some extra lube, “and I’ll corner you at work, and suck you off in the closet, but you won’t be able to make a noise or everyone will see you looking all debauched.”  
Clint came, sinking his teeth into the junction between Tony’s neck and shoulder. The pain, and the pleasure, and the feeling of warm, hot come between their bellies sent Tony over the edge, and he joined Clint in satisfaction.  
When their breathing had evened out, Clint turned to look at Tony beside him. “Handcuffs now?”


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, sexy,” Darcy purred through the bars of the holding cell. “What’d you do to get thrown in here? You sure pissed Tony off.”  
“I was born,” Loki replied. He was sitting on the bench, his hands still cuffed behind him. “Laufey was my father.”  
“Holy fuck,” Darcy breathed. “You’re that Loki kid the Asgardians supposedly killed four years ago.”  
“That’s me,” Loki said with a twisted smile. “Still interested?”  
“Why not?” Darcy shrugged. “This is Bill,” she motioned to the fierce German Shepard next to her. “And if you’re into drugs or shit, I’ll let him rip your head off.”  
“Can you keep a secret?”  
“Was it illegal?”  
“Mildly so.”  
“Tell me.”  
“Only time I touched drugs was when I planted them in my broth- in Thor’s car.”  
“I remember that case. Man got off scot; I think the bastard had connections.” Loki looked up so fast Darcy though he’d given himself whiplash.  
“Thor had a friend in the police? One who could get him off a bogus drug charge?”  
“Seems like it. Are they going to charge you with anything?”  
“Depends on how much that Stark fellow hates me.”  
“If you don’t go to jail, we should get dinner sometime.”  
“Maybe. Before you go, do you think you could uncuff me?” Loki rattled the cuffs around his wrists.  
“No can do; Tony’s the only one with the keys to his cuffs. Ask nicely in the morning and maybe he’ll let you out.” Darcy gave the prisoner a wave a smirk and left, Bill trotting along behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

“Natasha~!” Tony moaned pathetically into the phone.  
“What do you want, Stark?”  
“Clint handcuffed me to the bed and left with the keys~!”  
“Again?”  
“Come and save me!”  
“No.” Natasha hung up her phone. Immediately it began to ring obnoxiously. Everytime it went to voicemail, it would start ringing again. Damn Stark could be a stubborn bastard. Natasha got her car keys.


	8. Chapter 8

“Barton, we got a situation in Times Square. Bank robbery; get your ass down here.” Clint groaned and got out of bed, pulling on clean clothes as he stumbled into the kitchen. No time for coffee. Why the fuck did some moron decide to rob a bank at four in the fucking morning anyhow? Clint grabbed his bulletproof vest and was out the door.  
“What’s the situation?” he asked his team in the SWAT van. Logan, the team leader, scowled.  
“Some fuck heads pulled full automatics and tried to hold up the bank. They took twenty hostages, mostly bank employees. Now they’re demanding a helicopter and three mil in cash.”  
“What kind of sick people go to the bank at four in the morning?” Clint asked, checking the scope on his rifle.  
“No fucking clue. Storm, you and Jean are on the front door. Hawkeye, I want you on the roof across the street, no cowboy moves; you shoot when I fucking say so or Xavier will have my balls and yours. Scott, you and Rogue are going in from the side. Stay out of sight; these guys are jumpy and we don’t want dead hostages. Go!”  
Clint got on the roof by using a fire escape in serious need of repair. Stupid city budgeting. He set up.  
Thing is, Clint loved his gun. Very much. Very, very much. It was a beautiful piece of equipment Tony had gotten him for his birthday. Clint suspected there were a few modifications that exceeded the city’s requirements, but he’d never cared much to check. If he checked, he’d have to report it. Clint loved plausible deniability. Tony had told him all about how he couldn’t be held accountable if he wasn’t aware; Tony had done pre-law somehow before becoming a cop. Tony was the only (almost) lawyer Clint didn’t hate on principle.  
Across the street, there were three “fuckheads”, as Logan would put it, blustering around, their guns pointed at bank employees. Clint lined up his sight, his finger hovering over the trigger. He saw, in one cubicle in the background, Rogue and Scott dropping out of a ceiling vent to crouch behind a partition, their guns trained on two of the fuckheads. Clint immediately lined his shot up for the third.  
“Now,” Logan’s voice crackled over his ear piece. Clint took the shot. One fuckhead down. Rogue took down the other one with ease, but there was a hostage blocking the third from Scott. Clint could hear the guy cussing over their comm line.  
“Barton, get the bastard before he kills her!” Scott yelled. Clint obliged since Scott rarely asked anyone to do anything for him. A head shot splattered the hostage with blood and brain matter, but she was unharmed as Scott helped her away from the now headless robber.  
“Is he still a fuckhead if he hasn’t got a head?” Clint asked Logan.  
“Nope. Just balls-brained.”  
“Even when his brains are everywhere?”  
“Shut it, Hawk, and get your ass down here. Don’t give the suits any reason not to pay us overtime.”  
“I don’t know why they didn’t call Tasha’s team,” Clint said as he packed away his gun. “This was totally their kind of gig.”  
“Boring, you mean?” Storm asked.  
“I didn’t even get to shoot anyone,” Jean pouted.  
“That’s enough, guys. We did a good thing,” Scott scolded them.  
Clint muttered something about stick-up-your-ass before dodging Scott’s lethal glare and waving to Rogue (who he was cool with) and leaving.  
“What’s the hurry?” Logan called after him, around his victory cigar.  
“Forgot something at home!”


	9. Chapter 9

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, FUCK,” Tony was panicking. “Why the fuck did Steve go to get lunch? WHY? I’m going to kick his patriotic fucking ASS!” Tony was panicking because Tony was bleeding. Badly. He was stumbling down a nasty fucking alleyway, clutching at his shoulder in which a bullet was buried. His vision was flickering and he swore everything was turning grey. He was going to murder the red, white, and blue out of Steve for leaving him. The man had no idea what the streets were like. Un-fucking-predictable. Well, Tony had said he could take care of himself, but still! Steve could usually be counted on to be far too protective. “I’m... going to... kill you... Cap’n... ‘Merica.” He collapsed, knocking over a trash can, which clattered out into the street.  
“Tony!” the frantic shout was the last thing he heard as he finally blacked out.


	10. Chapter 10

“Fucking gang wars,” Tony murmured as he woke up, a throbbing pain in his shoulder. “Damn Jotuns and motherfucking Asgardians.”  
“Well, your language certainly is colourful, though I think I may have put it more creatively myself.” Tony’s eyes opened, and he shot up in bed before collapsing back, grasping at his shoulder, and cussing under his breath. “The fuck are you doing here, Loki?!”  
The dark haired man smirked, leaning back in the miserably uncomfortable hospital chair. “Well, I got out this morning and I was going downtown when I see your freakishly blond partner freaking the fuck out and no one willing to help him with your bloody carcass. Of course I stepped in.”  
“Bullshit.” Tony called it like he saw it. “You haven’t got a helpful bone in your body. I know what you do, Loki. You’ve been playing the gangs for the past four years.”  
Loki’s face went from smug and mocking to utterly blank in a fraction of a second. “Well aren’t you observant?” his voice was soft and sibilant. “How exactly would you know this, then?”  
“It wasn’t hard to see once I started looking. Odin’s kid, Thor, being caught with drugs in his car? There was no one less likely to be in possession. The Jotuns attacking Odin in revenge, when it wasn’t him that stole their ice from them? Odin trying to destroy them for killing you, even though they had thought you dead for years? Someone was playing them off each other, keeping them distracted with fighting each other. And then you show up, not dead, and I think ‘who has motive to keep both these gangs from noticing there’s an outsider on their turf?’.”  
“You’re not nearly as stupid as you look,” Loki looked put out that Tony had figured it out so easily.  
“Neither are you. Takes real skill to survive for four years in gang territory without them knowing you’re there.”  
“You would know all about that wouldn’t you?” Loki scoffed dismissively.  
“I know a little,” Tony said, propping himself up in bed. “And I figure you followed Steve here, the big lump, and snuck in here after the nurses made him leave. Idiot would probably sleep here if they let him,” Tony said, glancing at the clock.  
“While this has been very enlightening,” Loki said, standing, “I find myself in need of some place to stay for the night. The man killed the other day was Asgardian. I saw the Jotun that killed him and I thought you were him when you snuck up on me in the alley. I do hope you understand the knife, now.”  
“Makes sense,” Tony huffed. “Though, my place is-”  
“TONY!!!” Clint burst through the door like a hurricane, his expression frantic with worry.  
“-occupied,” Tony finished, a look of surprise on his face. “Hi, Clint. Sup?”  
“‘Sup’?! You get shot and all you can say is ‘sup’?!!”  
“Clint, this is Loki, Laufey’s kid. Loki, Clint.”  
“Hello,” Loki raised a calm hand and gave a little wave at Clint, who stared at him, his mouth partially open as his speechless brain attempted to transition from “Fucking worried, you idiot” to “Hey, there’s another person here”.  
“Hi,” he managed finally before turning back to Tony to begin ranting again. “And you didn’t even call me!! Seriously, Tony, you idiot! How’d you go and get shot with Steve around anyways? I’m going to rip his patriotic brain out through his very American nose!!”  
“He wasn’t there at the time, dear,” Tony interrupted, examining his nails.  
“WHY ARE YOU SO CALM??”  
“Morphine,” Tony smiled. “Do you have your cell on you? I need to ring Darce and see if she minds having Loki stay over a bit.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Of course I don’t mind!” Darcy squeal-shriek-shouted through the phone. “Oh god,” she made a gurgling noise like she was melting away from the brain-explosion happiness at her luck. “Is he wearing the same green v-neck he had on this morning because if he is, I swear I will eat him up and you will never see him again.”  
“Go ahead and do the world a favor, Darce,” Tony deadpanned, not glancing at Loki.  
“Permission?! You are the best, Tony! Did you guys steal my whipped cream because I swear I had some.”  
“Top shelf on the door of the fridge, Darce. Clint’s the only one that likes it on his ice cream.”  
“Weirdo.”  
“I know, right?”  
“Totally. So give the hottie my address and tell him NOTHING about me.”  
“Should I be worried?”  
“Do you care if you don’t see him tomorrow?”  
“Not really.”  
“Then no, don’t be.”  
“Darce....”  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you going to be making a banana split?”  
“There is such a thing as TMI, Tony.”  
“Oh god. No. The image. I needs must bleach my brain.”  
“Told you so.”  
“Damnit, Darce, you’re like a little sister. You think I needed to imagine that?!” Loki was looking at him with great suspicion. Clint was trying not to snicker.  
“Just send in the sacrificial lamb and be done with it,” Darcy suggested.  
“Yeah, okay. And then I’m going to go have hot sex and forget this conversation ever happened.” Tony hung up and tried very hard not to have crazy eyes when he looked at Loki.  
“I’m not so sure I want to know,” Loki said, looking a bit odd, unsure of what to make of the half of a conversation he just overheard.  
“Here,” Tony scribbled down an address on a scrap of paper and shoved it at Loki. “Try not to die.”  
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Loki raised his eyebrows, but he left. Clint cracked up the moment the door closed behind Loki.  
“Oh my god! Darcy? Really?! This’ll be great! I can’t wait to hear the whole story tomorrow.”  
“Darce says not to expect her tomorrow.”  
“Oh holy motherfucking peanut butter,” Clint collapsed into the incredibly uncomfortable hospital chair, clutching at his stomach as he giggled breathlessly. “This will truly be a tale of the ages.”  
“Shut up and give me the chocolate in your pocket, man,” Tony complained, holding out a demanding hand. Clint handed over the 70% cocoa, dark chocolate that Tony loved.  
“Does Darcy know you’re in the hospital?”  
“Probably.”  
“What’d she say about the ‘hot sex’ bit?”  
“I don’t think she believed me,” Tony sounded and looked insulted in the extreme.  
“Of course she didn’t,” Clint snorted. “You’re supposedly not sleeping with anyone at the moment.”  
“Aw,” Tony pouted. “I must really be missing out, huh?”  
“Totally,” Clint leaned over to kiss Tony, slow and gentle, savoring the mix of Tony and chocolate.  
“Hey, Tony-” the door opened and Steve stopped, his jaw unhinged as he caught his partner tongue-fucking another co-worker from his hospital bed. Tony and Clint looked at him, slightly annoyed, but not overly concerned. “I’ll just go then, don’t mind me. I won’t tell anyone.”  
“We know. Shoo,” Tony waved him off. “And thanks for keeping me from bleeding out in the street, man.”  
“Yep, thanks,” Clint perked up, smiling. Steve left, still looking stunned.  
“Well, I’m sure we can get through the awkwardness when I go back to work,” Tony shrugged. “Now kiss me before I’m forced to stab you with my IV.”


	12. Chapter 12

Loki knocked on the town house door bearing the number Stark had given him. Stark... he was an interesting man to say the least, and one that may actually match Loki in intelligence. That would be a fun game to play, if he decided to linger around the cop. He probably would not have much of a choice now that he had confessed to seeing the murder the cops were trying to solve. It would be an interesting game indeed.  
“Hi!” Darcy flung the door open and grabbed his arm. Loki had to stop himself from yanking his arm out of her grip. She wasn’t an enemy. She wasn’t even dangerous. She was just a narco cop. “It’s nice seeing you out of cuffs, Loki. I can call you Loki, right? Although, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in cuffs again, in a more comfortable location.” Loki tried not to be uncomfortable at that, but it was difficult. Maybe he should reevaluate his assumption she wasn’t dangerous. “Anyways,” Darcy continued. “It’s dinner time!” She nudged him forcibly into a stool at the kitchen counter. She had a nice kitchen, simple and clean, but with colorful boxes of tea littering the counter. Darcy shoved a plate in front of Loki.  
“This is...”  
“Breakfast for dinner, I know. Sort of weird, but whatever. Wait, you aren’t a vegetarian, are you?” She looked panicked.  
“No, I’m not a vegetarian,” Loki answered, an amused curve to his mouth.  
“Well I have more bacon set aside and I can always make more eggs if you want. I hope you don’t mind them scrambled. Would you like toast?”  
“That would be nice,” Loki nodded, picking up a piece of bacon and trying not to shove it into his mouth like a starving orphan.  
“Help yourself,” Darcy smiled, “I’m going to go shower, and I’ll be right back out.” She left and Loki shamelessly shoveled the mountain of scrambled eggs into his mouth, accidentally burning his tongue. He was starving.  
He actually made it out of Darcy’s house alive.


	13. Chapter 13

“I thought I wasn’t to be expecting you today,” Tony said to Darcy, frowning over the paperwork he was only pretending to do while he lay in the stupid hospital bed.  
“I know, but I opened the door and he just looked like this lost, hungry kid and I couldn’t help myself. You should have seen the amount he ate,” Darcy replied from the visitor chair next to Tony’s bed. “It was so sad and pathetic and cute and adorable-”  
“I’m gonna stop you there, Darce. Why are you here again?”  
Darcy looked at him, determined. “You’re going to help this boy, Tony. He might be an adult legally, but he’s just a kid.”  
“You make us sound ancient.”  
“I’m going to repeat myself once, and only once; you’re going to help Loki or I’m going to castrate you.”  
“I still can’t believe the Great and Terrible Darcy Lewis was defeated by some Jotun puppy dog eyes.”  
“Tony...” Darcy started warningly.  
“Yeah, yeah, I got it; help the kid, but I don’t understand what you want me to do, Darce. Put the bad guy he saw away? I was already working on that.” Darcy’s face softened at the rare moment of earnestness.   
“Damn, Tony, I want you to get him off the streets, help him find another life like you did.”  
“I can try.” Tony grinned mischievously. “I’ll try for you, oh beautiful Darcy of my heart!”  
“You need a man, Tony,” Darcy grinned right back. “Someone to lavish that silver tongue of yours on.”  
“What makes you think I haven’t got one already?” Tony looked offended.  
“Cause if you did, you wouldn’t be flirting with Clint all the time. When are you going to take pity on the man and stop teasing?”  
“I live to tease!”  
“Idiot.”  
“Relax,” Tony huffed grumpily when she didn’t go along with his teasing. Darcy only got serious when it was serious, or boring but they were basically the same to Tony.  
“Maybe when you’re not in the vicinity.”  
“Is that permission?” Tony perked up.  
“No,” Darcy rolled her eyes. “You are not allowed to use the shooting range unsupervised after the last time.”  
“Spoilsport.”


	14. Chapter 14

Tony pretended really well. He should be an actor or something, he thought. Or maybe Darce was just too distracted to notice the scheming. Because she usually caught him before he actually got in the shooting range, but there he was, loading his gun with one hand at a station, the noise cancellers over his ears and Steve nowhere in sight. He could barely believe he made it out of the hospital without being mobbed by nurses.  
His injured arm, his right, was in a sling, bound to his chest to keep it from moving even a little and tearing open the wound, but Tony knew how to use a gun like few others could and he managed to load it just fine with one hand, thank you very much. He was unloading it just as quickly when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun, driving his elbow back at whoever it was with crushing force. It was only his good balance and years of training that kept him from stumbling and hurting himself more when his elbow met nothing but air. There was a very shocked looking Loki though, and it seemed as though he had barely gotten out of the way.  
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT!?” Tony shouted, alarmed and furious for it. He sat his gun down at the station (after flicking the safety on, he wasn’t an idiot) and jerked off the noise cancellers to glare at Loki. “DIDN’T YOU SEE THE SIGN?!”  
“Sign?” Loki was confused, but recovering from the shock of almost having his face broken. Wordlessly, Tony jabbed a finger roughly in the direction of the door. Loki looked. Sure enough, there was a sign proclaiming boldly in Sharpie, “DON’T STARTLE THIS MAN; HE MAY KILL YOU” with a clear picture of Tony under it.  
“Idiot,” Tony muttered, grabbing his gun and stalking away. “Darce makes me promise to help and I almost kill the kid; she’s gonna be fucking pissed. I’m a fucking dead man. She’s gonna fucking kill me stone dead. Maybe Steve will protect me with his American Treasure Muscles.”   
“Hey, Stark!” Loki called, catching up to the mumbling man and grabbing his arm. With a jolt, Loki realized the cop was shaking. It wasn’t very noticeable but for the tremor running through his tensed muscles. “I didn’t mean to startle you, but your big blond bodyguard is tearing the hospital apart looking for you and that guy you’re fucking looks like he’s about to shoot me, so I’m hear to drag you out and placate them.”  
“I’m the human sacrifice?” Tony asked, a ghost of his usual smirk crawling back onto his face.  
“Accurate enough,” Loki shrugged, letting go of Tony now that the tremors were subsiding.  
“You’re gonna have to find somebody else then, cause I don’t do self sacrifice,” Tony grinned. “Just ask Steve.” He then promptly shut the door in Loki’s face. Loki grumped for a bit before going to inspect Tony’s paper target. He had to press the button to move it closer.  
Five headshots forming a pair of eyes and a mouth.  
Five chest shots, grouped in the area of the heart.  
Five shots, close together, smack dab on the crotch.  
Loki winced a little.


	15. Chapter 15

“TONY FUCKING STARK. WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU GETTING SHOT AND THEN ESCAPING FROM THE HOSPITAL?” Tony cringed and held the phone as far away from his ear as possible.  
“Calm down, Pepper-” he started.  
“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, YOU MORON. I AM COMING TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW AND YOU WILL BE THERE WHEN I GET THERE!”  
“Yes, Pepper.”  
“Damn fucking right “yes, Pepper”, you asshole. How many times are you going to almost die this week?”  
“Well, it’s only Tuesday...”  
“Don’t you dare.”


	16. Chapter 16

Tony was definitely in his hospital bed by the time Pepper got there. No matter how much snark he gave her, Tony always ended up obeying his lawyer. It was hard not to when she could bully him better than anyone. Even Clint. Clint’s talent was making him feel guilty with just a look. Tony remembered how Clint had convinced him to go on their first date...  
Pepper glared at him, her arms and legs crossed, from the plastic visitor’s chair against the wall. Tony shifted uncomfortably, wondering if he could get to the call button before she murdered him. Probably not. Tony didn’t generally care for lawyers; they were arrogant, stuffy, and thought far too much of themselves. Pepper, though, was a force of nature and could steamroll over any other lawyer on earth with as little effort as stepping on an ant. Tony had met her before he decided to quit law school and enter the police academy. Since then she had gotten him out of a number of troublesome situations.  
“Pepper...”  
“Tony.”  
“I need some help.”  
Pepper’s eyebrows went up, “That’s rare, you asking for help. What is it?”  
“There’s this kid, well, he’s legal, but he’s still a kid. He’s in a bad place, and Darcy made me promise to help him. I need to know how to protect him from what really is starting to look like war with the two biggest gangs in the city.”  
“Well, that does sound complicated. I’d suggest your first step is to get him into protective custody. Learn what he knows, give him immunity, and try not to get shot again when you go out to arrest these bastards.”  
“But Pep, if we don’t get every last one of the them off the street, he’s going to be their number one target. Maybe ever after they’re behind bars. If anyone of them finds out who sold them out...”  
“Witsec,” Pepper suggested.  
“I doubt I could convince him to do that.”  
“Stop dancing around, Tony, and tell me what you really want.”  
“Is adoption still viable if the kid is legal?”  
“Yes. Though it’s mostly for inheritance purposes. Why?”  
“If I make him a cop’s kid, anyone would hesitate to target him. It would bring down the whole city on them.”  
“Who is this guy, that you’d do this?”  
“His name’s Loki.”  
“Laufey’s kid? the one who vanished?”  
“He was taken by the Asgardians, who then turned on him and beat him within an inch of his life. He’s been picking away at the gangs for the past four years, and he’s got enough information in that pretty head of his to bring them down in a day.”  
“Tony...”  
“Yeah?”  
“Does he know about you?”  
Tony paused, looking down at his hands, scarred from years of living hard.  
“He knows the basics. He knows I know what the streets are like, and he suspects that my... father had something to do with it. But I haven’t told him. I don’t think he’ll trust me if I do.”  
“You have to tell him, if you intend to help him. If he finds out later it will destroy anything you’ve managed to build.”  
“I will. I promise. Now, Pepper?”  
“What?”  
“Get me out of this hospital. They didn’t have to put me back in. I’m fine.”  
“You were shot and then you escaped the hospital!”  
“I’ve been through worse. They stitched me up. I’ll be fine. Please, Pepper?”  
“Fine.”


	17. Chapter 17

As Tony walked out of the hospital, he called Darcy.  
“Yo, Robocop!”  
“Darcy tell me where Loki is right now.”  
“He’s sitting next to me playing with Billy.”  
“The dog?”  
“No the rookie from booking, yes the dog, you idiot.”  
“I need you to help me. Ask Fury to get me protection for him, preferably Clint and Natasha, and have them escort you to my place. Don’t let him out of your sight.”  
“What are you thinking Tony?”  
“I’m thinking we can take out both the Asgardians and the remaining Jotuns by this weekend if we keep him safe. I’ll meet you at my place in an hour.”  
“Wait is there like a spare key for your apartment here or something? How do I get in?”  
“Clint will let you in.”  
“I fucking knew it!”  
“Not now, Darce. See you soon.”  
“Later, Iron Man.”


End file.
